Rebuild Update #4: I’m Halfway There (And I Don’t Have a Prayer)
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So, yeah, it’s officially the six-month mark of my so-called “Year of Rebuilding”. How’s that going for me? Well, let’s take a look at what I said I’d do back when I first announced this thing…
Have Confidence!
My days of endlessly browsing the Internet come to an end today.
LOL nope
I’ll likely ease back into pixel art at first
double LOL nope
I’ll also try to publish at least one thing to this site every week (banking on Sundays for that) so I can keep up that habit. At the least, I’ll post a weekly “progress report” of some sort to openly keep track of my activity.
ahahahahahahahahahahaha nope
I’ll be working on broadening my diet beyond my preferred foods over the next year.
not even close to doing anything like this
Reading more books is another process I want to weave into my life.
bought more books, haven't read even one of them in full
…No Confidence!
So…yeah, not so much with the progress. In any way, shape, or form. The best I can say I’ve done is settled on a new Internet moniker and a new fursona (mouse, obviously), but I haven’t quite figured out much beyond that.
Between my own mental health struggles and [gestures wildly at everything else], trying to get my shit together in a backpack is far, far, far harder than I thought it would be. If I want to make progress, I may need to take far more drastic measures than, say, an occasional break from the Internet.
But even then, would that even help anything? Short of a super-wealthy multi-millionaire or a reality TV show taking an interest in fixing my life and paying every expense necessary to do exactly that, I’m not sure any effort could ever help me make any progress towards anything.
This past weekend, I felt more like giving up on even trying to make an attempt at maybe sorta doing something that could kind of help me make a slight bit of progress towards improving my life in even the remotest possible way. I’ve spent nearly two decades of my life doing what I do on a regular basis; undoing that conditioning in a year was a long shot at best, but doing it in six months? That’s a fool’s errand, and I am not that fool. (I’m a different kind of fool.)
How do I make progress when I’ve spent half my life doing anything and everything possible to avoid being an adult?